Need help with Sag girlfriend

[Matt_G]

Hey, I found this page off the other page that had advice for each sign. I have a gf who is a Sag and I'm sort of about to break up with her, but I want to give it a chance because I do care about her in some ways. But she lies alot and I think she might've cheated on me, but I can't prove that. Now she's messaging girls I know on myspace and facebook telling them she's my gf and to back off. One of the girls she messaged just got engaged to one of my best friends who is overseas right now, so I got in trouble with him and her over this message. I love her, but I don't like the lies and I don't like her being possessive. I guess I just need advice and my friends don't really believe in astrology and stuff. I didn't either until I came across the other page of advice and read about Saggitarius and a lot of it is true for her. I want to save my relationship if possible, thanks for any help. Her birthday is 11/24/85.

[Allegra de Rossi]

Place of birth? Time of birth?

I bet you $50 she has Venus in Scorpio : )

[Ashley]

i was thinking that myself...just too scorpionic ...my sag side is actually the more carefree side ...lol...

[Matt_G]

What does Venus in Scorpio mean? I'm a Scorpio.

Idk time, but she was born in Rochester, New York. My mom always said I was born at the crack of dawn, but idk the exact time, and I was born in the Bronx.

[Shygirl]

Hey Allegra, Venus is in Scorpio indeed. I checked it on Astro. Here's her chart without the time of birth of course.

[Allegra de Rossi]

With a Moon-Pluto opposition...fun!

Matt, you are a Sagittarius Moon with Venus in Sagittarius conjunct Uranus. How freedom-loving you must be! And if you were born after dawn, that would make you a 12th house Sun which explains why your Scorpionic traits are hidden, even from you. No wonder you are so...not obsessive.

But possessive and jealous people are just so much more fun; don't you agree Shygirl? : )

[Shygirl]

LOL.......Yes, I agree Allegra.....I KNOW exactly what you mean...:-)

[Ashley]

Charts aside, Matt, I can share my personal experience with this. There are only two times in my life i've ever come out with a jealous streak. (and once a p'o'd streak but thats another story) Im a scorpio and im supposed to be jealous all the time, but im not ..... I am a VERY trusting person and give my trust freely until its crushed, broken or stomped on. I do also have some other traits (including sag rising and libra in the house that controls communication) that temper my scorpio traits. Still, any girl can be thrown into jealous insanity given the right set of circumstances.

Both times in my history where jealousy reared its ugly head and i morphed into a crazy woman, (ie digging for evidence of cheating...) i was DEEPLY involved with the guy in question and he suddenly changed his patterns. He went from being loving and attentive and VERY devoted.... to doing things that told me i wasnt valued or appreciated, and started bringing other girls around while failing to mention i was in the picture or diminishing me in some way to the girls...even in a non-sexual/non-romantic way, it can still be threatening...a warning sign, if you will, that im not enough and his eyes are wandering. He's shopping while keeping me around....catch my drift? I was in love with the guy enough to not be willing to leave without a fight to fix the situation, but it also is CRAZYMAKING once your trust has been shaken to the core and takes some time and extra care to heal.

Start by asking yourself if there is anything that you might be doing that may tell her she isnt' "the one" for you or you arent completely secure with her and her alone... are your eys wandering, have you told her you arent sure about things, do you not call her for long periods of time.. that kind of thing??? Withholding the kind of affection, communication, etc. that brings security in a relationship is a total mind-f**k, in my opinion.

If after some self reflection you dont see that you are doing anything at all that might cause her to feel insecure, you might just ASK HER what is going on in her mind/heart that she feels that way. Just listen. Decide for yourself, is this fixable or is she a jealous crazy woman and not acting on any real rational basis? Is she just generally a jealous person?

Sometimes the answer is you can do something to fix it, and sometimes you've got the wrong person and do need to end it... only you can do the work to sort that out.

PS Incidentally.. the first guy that did this to me treated me with jealousy like you are describing, (i wasnt supposed to answer the mail, have friends, he was convinced everyone was a link to my potential to cheat, etc.) It turned out HE was cheating on ME and thats where his jealousy came from. If you really think she cheated on you, this could be why she's doing what she's doing. In any case i had ignored my instincts about this and became a raving maniac after i found out about the long string of affairs.... there's just no saving this kind of relationship if thats what it is.

[Matt_G]

Hey, Ashley,

Thanks. I'm a Scorpio too (10/28/84). The thing is, I like her but at the beginning she wanted more than me and I didn't sit well with that. I'm only 23, I'm not looking to get married right now. I like my space and I need a lot of it. I just graduated college not too long ago, and I'm just trying to get settled in my career and everything. Sometimes I won't call her, but that's not because I'm out cheating but because I have a lot going on. It's nothing about her, I'm just trying to do things I need to do, though I really like her a lot.

My eyes don't wander any more than a regular guy, I guess. Yea, I notice hot girls but I'm not trying to get phone numbers or kiss them or buy them drinks. When I'm out with my friends we notice a pretty girl and that's about it. Most of my friends have girlfriends too and they aren't out trying to cheat on them and neither am I.

I guess I don't know if she's the one. I'm not really looking for that though. I like her and when things are good, we have a lot of fun, but like I said, I'm not looking to "settle" down or anything like that right now and I thought she was in the same stage of life. I have to admit if the reason she is acting this way is because she wants to get married right now or something, I should probably end it now because I'm not really there yet. I never really thought of it until you brought up about whether I make her feel shes "the one."

[Ashley]

it sounds to me like you should have a conversation with her about this stuff and sort it out. it could very well be that you are giving her signals that tell her you arent as committed as she is and thats why shes acting this way... your actions could be making her feel insecure...

It could be, though, that ending it is not necessary. (Guys are funny that way and want things black and white...lol...)
having the conversation may help her feel more secure if you say what you've said here... and she may be able to back down on her jealousy a bit.

You may need to give a little and at least do a bit more to tell her she's appreciated or valued, that does not necessarily mean hand her in a ring in a box....but if you DO value her and want to continue things as they are (at least the happy part of what you have) it may take you giving that little bit of verbal reassurance on occasion for her to feel safe and secure with you. guys forget women are soft creatures and need that now and then....but when you remember to do it, we purr :-)

[lizasilly]

I'm a Sag all the way...but I'm not posseive or a jealous person for the most part, and my venus is in Scorpio. I think Ashley has the right answer just talk to her and show her you care. Only twice I became jealous and that was when I fell deeply in Love. An honest talk and doing little things to make her feel special should help with the jelousy.

[Gemini305]

I can see there are times when you cannot save the relationship for it is not worth the time. I am in a similar relationship that my girl is cheating. She has become more distant, feels like there is some lies there as well and the phone calls well let me just say that she call every other day. I have been very open with her,but it just seems she is either scared to open up to me, testing me, or just playing me. I have tried to ask, but she locks up on me. Could this also be a situation when 2 people are not into each other ?

[Matt_G]

Thanks. We're gonna hang out this weekend and talk. Hopefully it goes well. I'm gonna read up more on astrology because it seems interesting.