Why and when do they say "I Love You?"

[greenseavirgo]

I think some signs are a bit more, err...free.... with when they say they love someone.

I'm very literal and would only say "I Love You" first if I really did love someone. It's not something I take lightly, so when I say it, I mean it. When someone says it to me, I think they mean it as well. But that's not always the case.

Do women mean "I love you" more than men? Is it gender related or sun sign related?

When do you say "I love you" or know that you do? Might you say it if you don't? Or not say it if you do?

I'm Virgo Sun/Moon in Gemini/Mercury, Venus, Mars, Ascendant in Libra.

Does my Mercury conjunct my Venus make me more communicative or words more important when it comes to love?

GSV

[ScorpioNights]

I'm a Scorpio with Venus in Scorp and Mercury in Sag. I'm terrified if being the first one to blurt it out in a moment of unguardedness, so I won't say it. There. It sounds pretty weird, but in my last relationship (with an Aquarian. 5 years) I never said it. I would not say it unless he did first, and Aquas aren't always known for being the cuddly emotional type, so he never said it and I never said it either.

[C]

My Mercury (H12 Taurus) is unaspected to my Venus (H10 Pisces), but is conjunct my sun and square to my moon. There has only been once in my life where I said "I love you" first. It's not anything calculated or over thought, though, not a trick or a game. I'm usually just so busy enjoying my relationship that the weight of three words doesn't concern me. "I love you" can just as easily be a lie as a the truth- I'd rather never hear it but *feel* love then torture myself over it's absence in my relationship.

I usually know that I love someone the moment I stop wondering if I love them. If I stop debating whether or not it's serious in my head, I know that it is. "Where there's love, there is no question."

[Angeline Elise]

With my Aries nature, I just wonder, if I say it, will it go away inside of me?

;(

[greenseavirgo]

And is there a difference between "I love you" right now? and "I'll love you" forever?

I guess I'm trying to grapple with the fact that people and feelings are mutable. And dealing with the fact that sometimes you love someone and they don't love you back. And that's OK.

[Angeline Elise]

From Below: I have a hard time committing to anything "forever"...I just say how I feel at the time.

The exception is my dear wifey May, who I will love FOREVER!! it is for her which the passion never dies, not even on Federal Holidays or under threat of nuclear attack...no, those days I love her MORE!!

God, I want to tussle that lanyard mane of hers RIGHT NOW!!

xoxo
;)

[Angeline Elise]

And is there a difference between "I love you" right now? and "I'll love you" forever?

I have a hard time committing to anything "forever"...I just say how I feel at the time. If love goes away it doesn't mean it wont come back, either.

And dealing with the fact that sometimes you love someone and they don't love you back. And that's OK.

Man, I love inside my head...so sometimes I've ended up happy when I've fallen for someone and they weren't reciprocating, because the relationship will stay the way I want it to in my head. He'll always be funny, smart, good in bed and pleasure milady with something that says "F U" to "the man" on holidays.. ;)

Next thing I know...I get sucked into something (someone) else!

[Angeline Elise]

I have said "I love you" first... crazy early and both times the guys said "I love you too" right back, passionately!

I'm not going to lie, Uranus and Pluto was involved in both instances.

Unfortunately, I hurt those guys when they saw how equally detached I got when things started loosening up....and I end up looking like a liar. (I call it the mirage effect, most guys I've dated for extended periods of time wonder if I ever loved them at all...and I did.. but my love is lil detached...and guys aren't used to seeing that in girls)

;(

[greenseavirgo]

Ah, good to analyze the transits. I can tell, to the day, when he told me he loved me. It was just a few weeks after we started seeing each other. He told me he thought he should wait, but he just wanted to say it.

Afterwards, he told me he'd been in a relationship with another woman for a few years and never said it.

So, Chiron had just begun to Trine his Venus, and the interpretation for this is:

Venus trine Chiron A commitment-friendly transit. Love can heal old wounds. We are open to romantic feelings.

Now, he doesn't say it as often and I wonder if it means he doesn't care as much, or if he thinks I already know and he doesn't need to say it. *sigh*

We both have Mercury conjunct Venus - mine in Libra, his in Pisces. I think I take a more balanced and practical approach to these matters, where his is perhaps a bit more....dreamy.

[Angeline Elise]

Terrible as this sounds, I have said "I love you" mainly to clinch my victory - to make a guy think that I am emotionally attached to him so that he opens up to me even more and I get the upper hand. I've also said "I love you" to get a guy to put out - he was one of those sappy types who can't have sex without love, so I gave him the words in order to get what I wanted. Terrible, I know!

Your Mars Opp. Pluto could make you very manipulative as a partner...do you have any other hard Pluto aspects?

Took me a few dates to say it to the many men I haven't loved.

Is this always intentional? Or do you find yourself so in the moment that you say it even though you may not completely mean it then realize later you don't really feel that way?

What about hard Uranus aspects (particularly with venus or mars)? Is your sun in Aries Opposition to Jupiter in Aquarius?

I gotta know, Aries Bear!

[Angeline Elise]

Sometimes it was that whenever I realized a man really cared for me, I would actually convince myself that I cared for him that much too, because I wanted to be good to him the way he was good to me. Strange but true. Eventually, I would admit to myself that I did not really love him, but in the meantime, he would have fallen so that I would have power over him b/c of his love for me, but he would have little power over me.

I can totally relate to this!! Ugh ;(

But then you move on:

Knowing you have so much influence over someone can be addictive...so I have found myself dripping false "I love you"s to gain an edge over men, lol.

The men I have intentionally led astray with "I love you" have been guys who I wanted to teach a lesson. Ex: One guy consistently mistreated his ex-girlfriend in terrible ways right in front of me. She really loved him and he totally took advantage in crazy ways. I am very protective towards women, so I decided I was going to get vengeance for her by showing him how it feels when someone you love treats you so spitefully.

You truly have that Plutonian thing about you lady! Vengeful! ;P

[Dallas]

My bf (Scorpio) told me he loved me after dating for 3 weeks. I asked him if he thought it was too soon to be saying that and he told me that it feels natural to him. After the rocky road we have been on though, he still calls me morning, noon, and night, but I have noticed that he doesn't close with I love you anymore. It could just be me analyzing the situation, but I have noticed it.

[Natasha]

Cool--have thought about this a bit. ^^;

I laugh (snicker) at some movies, shows...find some real couples cute... But for myself, it'd prob'ly take time. It sounds weird to me, that one sentence. But I love to touch, does that make up for it? XD I'd say it casually first several times... "Aw, I love you." "Love you." ..."You're fre**in' awesome!" 8D Yeah, not serious like, "I can't live without you." ^^; So I guess I'm serious about this thing. If I loved someone, I still think I'd rather not outright say it. Just show it. -shrugs- Now and then with amazing sincerity and gratitude (XD), yeah, but otherwise, meh. You know what you are to me! It shows in my enthusiasm, doesn't it!? XD

Sun in the fifth, Mercury sextile Venus, Venus in 3rd, Mars generally a pain in the butt, Moon sextile Uranus, conjunct Pluto, ect.

So, my mom. Love everyone, but I'm only attached to her, as ya know. I usually don't miss or think much 'bout her when's she gone, but that's because it's only been a few days. Very happy when she comes back tho. But...when she suggested dropping us off in NY, and coming back to work here for three weeks, I cried a bit. D': I'm very protective of her, affectionate, wanting of her attention, forgiving. Like to be good friends with her, as opposed to her trying to "mother" me too much. Though she's right. ^^; My brother said this morning that I'm greedy about it. Okay, okay, I'm the kitten knight, quiet! XD