SHOULD I STAY IN LOVE WITH THIS AQUARIUS MAN....

[~Sweet~]

I don't even know if I will get a response to this but I am a sun taurus woman and just got out of a unexpectedly "short" relationship with a sun aquarius man. My story is somewhat long but to make it short...the aqua knew I wasn't interested in him at first because of the cold shoulder I gave him repeatedly (mostly because of past relationship issues). I didn't want anything to do with him especially since he planned on moving out of state. I offered to be a friend to him because long distance usually don't work...but oh no...he was sooo convinced he'd prove me wrong and assured me he would do all he could to make it work...somehow with his constant pursuing, reassurance with actions that matched his words, and intelligence...I opened up and let him in and my guard dropped. He was soooo infatuated so in love and even said he loved me. Told all his friends he found the one...his family...took me over to meet his parents...the whole nine. He would call so many times throughout the day or beg to see me...and when we did see each other it was 1st class all the way. He is by far the most amazing man I have ever met. Keep in mind...he was all of that when he was home. As soon as he left town not even a full two weeks later...all of that came to a screeching hault after he accused me of having horrible communication with him (mind you he is the one who became distant in communication while he was already HUNDREDS of miles away). Why go through all of that effort to break my guard down and tell the world you love me just to become a coldhearted distant short with words baffoon. He promised he wouldn't hurt me knowing what I've been through. I don't get it! He could of became an ass back home! He had the nerve to say to me "I wish things were different between us, I do love you and I'll c u around, maybe it might be different", and I may get a phone call or text from him every let's say 2-3 days. What am I suppose to do with that? He is VERY STUBBORN, is ALWAYS right even when he KNOWS for a fact he's wrong. The taurus I am, I can be just as stubborn so talkin to him and he talkin to me was like 2 bricks facing each other. I'm willing to compromise but mr aqua wouldn't compromise if it saved his life. If I mention anything emotional even now, NO RESPONSE..DEAD SILENCE..NADA! Was it all MIND GAMES? I'm so confused and would appreciate some input. He was so perfect and attentive to my needs and it all changed the moment he left and no doubt probably ran into temptation. What we had was what I and everyone who knew us thought was the perfect relationship. We were super compatible...I mean extremely compatible. How can he just walk away from that and appear to not be lookin back? 2 bad for me I now have to try to get over this otherwise perfect gentleman that entered n2 my life and I will but is he worth sticking around for... help please

[Donna]

Melanie,

I think if we were to do this to aqua man they'd want us more. When I acted like I couldn't be bothered with aqua man he called me and text message me a thousand times a day. And acted very affronted that I had better things to do then Sweat his A--. When I acted indifferent, he was so damn attentive. What Gives? Like I've said in other postings, they are truely great friends, but suck in a commited relationship. There is no such thing as one on one. They do not understand how to give personal attention or the depth that is required to hold a relationship together long term. And it is sad and heartbreaking, such is lost for someone who
will not allow themselves to feel the true depth of love.

[Onewordspoken]

I know....wierd huh? I feel for you on every level.

I'll tell you what I consider even more sad. Is that as confusing, and as painfully difficult as it is to express love and all love type things to another person (feelings and all) as an aquarius, it is even MORE difficult to understand and express the hurt we feel when the relationship doesn't work.

If she leaves.....there is no one for us to turn to. It's left for our heads and our thoughts to place a reason and an understanding to our feelings. It sucks....I can tell you from experience.

[Donna]

Onewordspoken:

Why wont an Aquarius make a small compromise for the sake of Love? Why does it have to be the other person who does all the compromising? And why is it that when an Aquarius does realize there in love do they run away. Love isn't complicated it's the mind that makes it so. Aquarius men act like Cyborgs

[Onewordspoken]

If only it was a small compromise. :(

I'm not the spokesman for aquarius. Thats jeff whom we nominated last week at the Dilligently Escape The All Consuming Hearts Enquiring Directions Convention. We call it DETACHED for short.

Anyway, I can only speak for myself. Telling someone that you're in love, to me (and I think aquarians alike) is very similar to handing a gun to that person and allowing them to point it at our heads. Every little weakness we show, or small button we tell you is an aggravation point for us is like handing you the bullets. I am thinking that other people do that more easily. Perhaps they have a larger ability to examine how "exposed" they may be to another person. Aquarius has no plumb line like that. Every emotional vulnerability is a HUGE weakness. Because we have no defenses for it.

From a personal standpoint, (and yes, i've done the run thing) opening up can be very difficult. Hell I had an ex-gf that would get angry with me, and even though it bothered me greatly, somehow when we made up, she wouldn't see how negatively it had affected me. But I remembered. We always remember. But even the bad things somehow, I was unable to communicate. She swore I didn't even care. How? Is what went through my head. How in the hell could she not see it was killing me? I've never been able to answer that question. Therefore, perhaps I am a poor person to ask that question to. But I tried to answer it anyway. lol.

Friendship is one thing...Love is a whole other subject altogether. To aqua's it is complicated....because as you said, "It's the mind that makes it so". Aqua's live in their minds. It's more complicated than I can even convey.

[Melanie]

I know I know....I'm sure he has got the blues too....

But it's never really over with Aquarius is it?? and when enough time has passed he'll return to ambush me.....surprise me....doumbfound me!

And we'll be back on track again regaling eachother with fairytales of love, lust and the metaphysical....sacrificing everything for the love of the game!!!

I just wish he'd make the waiting stop....

[Donna]

Melanie,

Thats usally how it goes, right now I am going through an Aquarius break by my choice and I know he is waiting for that call from me. And I tell you know matter how much I am hurting inside I just can't bring myself to pick up the phone. I feel like if I do it's giving him the messege that everythings ok with his behavior. These guys just wont budge for S--t. My problem is this and maybe onewordspoken can help me with this. If the Aquairus can only give on a casual level (which I have no problem with being casual) Why do they expect commited in return for their casual? Hmmm
It is what it is. Why pretend? It's all an Illusion created
in the Aquarius mind. What a contradiction this sign is.

[Onewordspoken]

Awww.

[Melanie]

Donna,

Let us be the contradiction then....let's OUT AQUARIAN him!

Let us turn our hearts away......for once!

But he's a poisoned well from which we really like to drink.....isn't he??

We know it's self-destructive but we still want to get drunk!!!

[~Sweet~]

Yes, he will come back. Believe it. In one way or another he will make his self available to you again. Take things slow and light. Be a friend...they respond well to that. From what you say he posts, he is not ready for any real relationship. If your a friend during this period, he looks at it as a sign of respect for his independence. A turn around may happen from there. I'm certainly getting the turn around but I just don't want to be bothered anymore.

[~Sweet~]

"It's like God gave us the well, but no bucket. "

That is a really enlightening way to put it. Hence, The Waterbearer.

Originally "going to every body of water' was a statement in general but hey the latter seems to fit also lol.

It is frustrating...well was frustrating to deal with. He is a really good guy in all other aspects but the relationship. So I'm guessing it is a lil bit of both (struggling and a genuine ass). He did open up to me about a lot of things that has happened in his life that I can definitely see it as contributing to his assholeness lol.

Thanks for your insight and approaching this post in a calm and informative manner. You've added a different perspective that helps make some sense to all of what I think is aqua madness : )

[Onewordspoken]

Heh, well.....what can I say? I love how awesome I am. HA!

Im glad you have shown restraint in choking him to death. :)

[Melanie]

Hi Sweet,

This time I have a strong gut feeling he is not coming back...and it looks like I will have to make the approach....

Ahhhhh.....the things we do for love!!!!!!!