Virgo Man and Mixed Messages . . . Any Woman with Virgo Man Experiance?

[Mimi]

Virgo men are known to be 'shy' about their feelings. Is it true when they think they have found the 'one' they will pull away for a looong period of time (years) until they come back...only to find out that the person no longer loves them???

Virgo man told me his feelings straight out! He said ''i will say it again I LOVE YOU AND I CANT BE WITHOUT YOU you were my first and i hope my last'' Then suddenly and so quickley there is *dead silence* not returning my calls and txts.. why are they like this? Very confusing. This guy has Virgo sun, Pisces Moon and Virgo Venus...hmmm...anyone can help me?

[Shygirl]

Hi Eric, Wow !!!!! I loved your post. I have a very close male Virgo friend. When I read your post I almost felt like you were talking about him. I really LIKE him, & I get the feeling (most of the times) that he LIKES me too. We have so much in common (I'm a Capricorn), we spend hours chatting with each other, we can finish each other's sentences but then if I make an effort to even subtly suggest something about how I feel, he withdraws & reminds me what wonderful 'friends' we are. Is that what all of you Virgo guys do? Maybe you or someone else can help me out here. Appreciate it.

[Eric]

Hello,

No problem for the post, :-) although I should probably be carefull now, not to
be caught as a traitor by a fellow virgo, for having disclosed some of our dearest
secrets :-) :-) ... I talk too much that s for sure ...

Ok, I ll try to tell you something, but again it s all about me, I m not sure I can
apply this to all virgo.

I m always listening a lot when I have a conversation with a girl (or a guy, but whatever), even the smallest
thing she say or the way she says it, I try to notice and understand if there is
a reason why. Anything that is even slightly different from the habitual way
of talking or behaving, I will notice, so I see when she s tired, she s upset, happy or annoy
... If you want to drive me crazy, you can act randomly, doing thing without reason or conections, I will try to understand and analyse rationaly, and will go mad by the time I can figure what is happenig :-) ... not funny, nooooot funny mean girl :-) :-)

So using subtility to speak with me, if you really want to say something that is, it s always a good thing, and it will work. It s like a game for me, and it s one of my favorite, if you can play that game with me, it will mean a loooot of respect.

A subtle sign that works and that I notice right away, is a certain smile, or an eye
contact just a little bit longer than usual, ... these little things, for me can be like
triggering an internal storm, just imagine then plain declaration like "I love you ... " those
are more like a tsunami aproaching and make me want to run :-) :-) It s just too much

A girl openly speaking of her feeling will make me uneasy and want to "escape" this
situation. Ok, I used to, but remember I ve learned, I can handle now, I open my small umbrealla and brace for the tsunami :-) :-) I m only really starting to be confortable with
these after a long period of relationship.


I know that I can spend a lot of time with a person if I appreciate/like her (otherwise I would just try to make it short and polite), to discuss or share experiences. Now does it means I have fellings ? mmh that s a tricky question ... I think the best answer is to say that I probably don t know myself. Even if feeling there is, they are kept under control, in a "wait and see" status. In that case I keep going with the relation in a just friendly way. And I ll be firm about it. Over time however, without even I notice, it can turn into something else.
I would use the "Let s stay friend" as well, but actually this statement can be just a facade and the real meaning would be hidden in the way it is said, the words carefully chosen to say it, the context, ... I could also really mean it, for whatever reason. I can be in a relation with some one elese, in that case I ll really mean it. Or there might be something in the girl that, in my mind, is a "showstopper" (that s blunt way to say things, but lets be precise and efficient, virgo style, that will save us time in this long post :-) )
Ok, one example, for me a girl smoking is an absolute no go (weird I know) as much as I get more relaxed about a lot of things today, that one is still no no. But I would not make a remark about it to her, not in any direct way at least. I might make a comment to a common friend, though. But it's not a sure thing either, it depends if other than that I have interest in her. I suppose that to say it to some one else, in secret hope that he/she will pass the message, is my way of dealing with it :- ) ... damn virgo, why do you make things so complicated :-) :-)

One thing that works also with me to try to speed up things, is to make me spend
more time with the girl, through common friend (going out together with friends or whatever) or also a (nasty :-) ) trick is to use to my biggest weakness :-) I cannot really say "no" to someone asking me for help. She needs to go do her shopping and her car broke so she ask if I can drive her there, I ll do it. And I ll carry all the stuff she will buy :-) :-)

So how to know if I like a girl, I mean really have felling ? I will be more and more interested in her, I will ask a lot of questions, and I ll try to express myself through other means as well (bringing her a coffe, a piece of cake, of chocolate, or something she likes)
hold the door for her, again, try to help her with anything. Also one interesting thing that happen when I like (can I say love ? ... Arrrggghhh tooo much light, I m melting, ... virgo can t say that :-) :-) ) a girl is I try not to hurt her in any way. Since I know that one of
my problem is my tendency to critisize or argue ("no it s not critic it s just information" .. :-) ) , and I know that can really hurt someone ( wihtout even me willing to) I try to control that.

Ok, I give an example, I like things to be neat and precise, for instance if you say a pound
is about half a kg, I will add, "a pound is 0.454 kg". I know it s perfectly fine
to consider a pound as half a kg, and I m ok everyone do it, but just to be sure that
you are aware that it s actually a little different, and just because I happen to know
it, I will share with you the information about the correct value. And there is
nothing underlying it, it s totaly neutral, machine like. But ok it is annoying over time, I know.

Now comes the interesting bit :-) To let go this thing for me is sometime difficult,
because my reason is screaming "Give the correct value, NOW". There is however occasions when I will not "argue" or try "to correct". It s when I m starting to like the person a lot, then I simply say "I think you are right". You have no idea the kind of internal battle going on in that case :-) Reason is fighting feeling and feeling are eventually
winning to make this happen :-) :-) It s even more difficult when it is about something
that is obviously (to me) not right or something I disagree with.

Ok I hope this episose 2 of virgo inside thinking can help you,
and I wish you the best,
bye,

[Shygirl]

A BIG THANK U..........:-):-):-)

[amber]

Eric,

The post dates, I know. Would still care a lot about your advise if you're ok to give it?

[MERLOT]

Eric,
I would love some advice from you if you could read the message from merlot that's me, I would really appreciate it. My Virgo is very nice and charasmatic, but little more open with his feelings. You seem to have a very similar out look as he does!

Thanks, Brenda

[ForeverSweet]

This is a few months off. But I can't help being utterly amused this entire post! Its fabulous!
My first ex and I started talking about a month back ago and we have known each other for about eight years.
I am a Virgo female (20) and he is a Virgo male around my age.

And this is him spot on, nearly down to the precise speculations and explanations on his actions. In fact, I could swear it was him typing in certain places!
This is definitely one of the great things about Virgo guys. Their conversation is amazing and I think everything you typed is a wonderful representation.

Virgo men are thoughtful, intelligent, and emotional people if they really take the time to grow and be themselves. More than anything they are witty and know women better than any other sign, at times. Because they spend so much time trying to do their best by them. This is a very amiable quality in them.

The guy Virgo in question and I have had hour long deep conversations and he has often talked about taking things slowly, not believing that there is any point in rushing, that sometimes his emotions just become so strong that he has taken the time to try and teach himself how to balance between showing too much love and just enough. Decisions down the very point!
We talk about everything from philosophy, life, ice cream preferences. It is fabulous to talk to someone who has spent just as much time thinking about things as I do!

He has invited me to go places with him and says he would love to live with me one day.

And yet, much like all of the women here - one day he just stopped. No texts, no IM's, no nothing. Luckily, I have grown up and really don't feel too phased by it (other than a little more lack of faith in men..I have the worst luck!) And of course I miss our long conversations. Even if he wasn't interested romantically, I wish I could understand why he has wandered away from any contact at all! I told myself he feels how he feels and there is nothing I can do. But at the same time it seems like such a contradiction! Why in the world would he say things like that, if he wasn't intent on following through? And if he's not interested, I can't seem to understand why he wouldn't say so. Then again, it has become a theme. When we broke up for the first time he lied about it, just to get out of the relationship on easier terms.

I certainly don't have hard feelings. More, as a Virgo woman I am facinated by this completely opposite manner of expression and wish I could understand you Virgo guys! :') It'll drive me crazy forever.
I tend to be a pretty fired up Virgo. I have too much in my chart that makes me restless and a bit of a thrill seeker at times! So in opposite of most Virgo's I have no qualms with short, passionate relationships that happen on a whim. Or going somewhere on a days notice. I would rather say everything I can honestly, than think too carefully about what I am saying.

Which, luckily, you Virgo men seem to understand as well!
The Virgo guy in question said, "Honesty is the best!" Yeesh, could he get any better!?

(Woo! So, in other words..I'm also always at war with my Virgo side. Who is picky, perfectionist, cool, and in terrible need to impress others!)

In the end I find Virgo men completely mysterious and out of this world! Luckily, as a Virgo woman myself - complicated is never a turn off. Which I think is a large problem for most people who have a hard time dealing with complicated Virgoians. Because Virgo's are COMPLICATED to the max, but I think this is what makes them lovely and interesting.

People just have to be willing to put up with never being right ever again, and never getting the answer they want, right? ;)

Either way, its nice to get a perspective from a Virgo man! The ever, time knows no limits type of person. :')

[Danae]

They are your polar opposite. Virgos are interesting. Very disciplined, repressed emotionally and sometimes sexually. Especially with Mars in Virgo.

[fujicakes]

My best friend & love of my life is a Virgo (Aries ascendant, moon in Scorpio, Venus in Libra) and he is the king of mixed messages. Our relationship is slightly nefarious and there are details I'd rather not get into...that being said, we've gotten into arguments over the fact that he has these deep rooted feelings for me & claims we can't be together (because of a sense of duty he has that I can totally understand). I tell him I want out, just let's not talk anymore because it hurts me too much. Then he'll beg me not to leave his life & share/reiterate all of these feelings. The past few years of our relationship have definitely been a emotional rollercoaster.
He has NO reason for me to be in his life. I've done my dirty deeds in the past and have likely done more than just hurt his feeling, I've emotionally scarred him. But he just won't let go. And I often feel like I'm one of his "Virgo charity cases", that our relationship exists in a warped kind of way for him to satiate his need to "take care" of someone.
He's someone I know very well (10+ years...then again, he is a Virgo & they are creatures of habit, ha ha), we finish each other sentences we are so close. And even though I know what his thought process is like and why he's made the choices he has, I can't help but to be confused by his hot & cold emotions for me. For whatever reason though (maybe my stubborn moon in Taurus) I can't let go either.

[MERLOT]

Hello Merlot here new to this site. Ive been seeing a Virgo man for about 2 months and could really use some Virgo or Virgo expert advise. Last week he asked me over to let me know he is going to get back together with his x. He told me he likes me and Im such a cool girl but didn’t want to get to close because he’s still in love with her. He said they never got closure on the relationship, witch is true. They were together for almost 2yrs. He said he has to give it ashot because he can’t get her out of his head. The only odd thing is he didn’t give me back anything I had left at his place from prior visits. And told me to hold on to the books he lent me because I’ll be back over. I don’t know?..He knows I won’t be a booty call. It was the nicest breakup Ive ever had if that means anything. Now it's been a week and finally I saw him last night at the gym. We had good conversation, he approached me twice to talk. The second conversation was that he would bring my tupperware with him Thursday if I could return his books also if I was done. He wasn't beeing rude at all and I know he's just cleaning house because she's in the picture now. I guess Im wondering is there still a chance with this Virgo or just forget about it. Im not going to wait but if there's something that would get his attention sooner than later Im willing to try. He broke up with her for a reason and it's only matter of time before those reasons come back out to haunt him again. In need of some good advise please!

[Eric]

Hello Merlot,

Thank you for asking me advise, it's actually very nice to fell usefull :-)
But be aware that I m no personality specialist anything I could say is only
relative to how I would react. There s a long way into saying that this could
apply to another men, even a close vrigo buddy :-)

But anyway, talking about me then and if you think it can apply to your friend,
then so much the better.

I ve never been in a situation like that, but I think I know how I would react,
when I give my heart to a woman, I m faithfull you know. I don t cheat, and in my
mind I m not asking myself questions anymore, the girl becomes part of my
world, I could even say my "routine", she s there, I have to take care of her, love her,
make all I can to make her happy, ... it s not a constrain, I don t even ahve to
think about it, everything I do, I take her into account. So yeah, maybe
you could say I m commited.

This will not disapear esily, I have to be really disapointed by someone (cheating,
lying, acting foolish and unreasonable, or some bad behaviour or vulgarity, that I hate)
in that case, it will be over very soon. But then again if I take my time to be in a relation,
it s because as much as possible, I d like to know about all these before.
If it s over by my decision, there s few chances of going back. But if it s not really my
decision then, well, I guess I would believe that I need to stay faithful ...
I think that when a virgo is in love it s not something to take litely

You mentioned that he didn t gave back things at his place, ... mmmh ... sorry to say
but this I think is a distasfull behaviour of virgo (I did it ... shame, shame ... )
simply put it s cold and practical. Two women are there, he's unsure at the begining
so in the mean time, during the evaluation process, he s keeping a safety net.
Don t let this situation last. It paradoxal but I m sure that even a virgo that want
so much to be honnest and faithfull, won t resist to the convenience of a nice safety
net. In situation like that don t be to fooled, I know that personnaly, I could be
very manipulative to my own advantage ... but I ve paid a price for that, no need
to say more :-)

The tupperware detail ... so funny ... so typical, I think he s trying to slowly cut all
connections. Whitout involving fellings. And still want to be honnest to the most
basic level, the tupperware is yours so he ll give it back to you. When all this is done,
I suspect you can expect a total black out, like if he is gonne on another planet.

I don t know what else to say, if he took his decision, then he will stick to it.
Don t try to pursue or hassle, really it s useless.

Again the paradox is if it doesn t work with the other woman he could reapear in
your life just like nothing happened. If this happen don t let him play that game,
going from one to the other. If he tries it, tell him he s dishonest with you,
force him to be clear with you. Like a litle boy, he would try to get away with
this and not be punished...

But then again I think this is not applicable only to virgos, but to any men ...
Good luck

[Oceania2]

Aw Eric, you're such a sweet guy for your advice to people. Bet you have a fan club!
I understand what you say when you mentioned that if it's your decision to leave a relationship there is little that will change your mind, however if its not really your decision then you believe you would need to stay faithful. You sound a lot like my Virgo boyfriend. He always says he would do anything to look after me, keep me safe, make me happy and all that mushy stuff, and I know he would. Last year I separated from him, and got involved with someone else, which hurt my Virgo immensely ( I'm a Pisces and was going thru an emotionally tough time when it happened) . Although he found all this stuff out, he still wanted to be with me, to make it work cos he said he'd rather try and make it work than "lose what we have on all levels". I guess he is ultimately committed to me and would do anything to prove it. He's even said he would like to propose to me (if I can overcome my fear of commitment). So I guess when a Virgo is truly committed they will do absolutely anything to please their partner, or make it work even if they have suffered hurt. I would never willingly hurt him after what we went thru last year, and I can safely say I'm so glad he stuck by me cos I can't imagine being with anyone else now.

I have read somewhere something similar to what you say about Virgo's dating a girl but takes his time making up his mind. Here's what I read, so I hope it helps people on this website who are having difficulty pinning down their Virgo.

"With relationships the Virgo man doesn't rush into emotional involvements. He takes his time getting to know a potential partner over a series of outings, which may not be obviously dates. That way he's covered himself should he not want to pursue a relationship. He doesn't reveal his intentions until he's reasonably certain, he's discriminating in his choice of partner, which means he may spend periods of time on his own, during which he remains celibate."

"This is not difficult for him as he's fussy about who he sleeps with, so he tends not to sleep around. He falls in love slowly, checking a prospective partners credentials. He has exacting criteria for a long-term mate, which may include pragmatic considerations such as their usefulness to him. He values practical back-up so someone with skills he lacks may be appealing."

"Once all the tests and hurdles have been passed and the Virgo man has given his heart, he is truly romantic. This may seem a bit of a contradiction when he's approached love with such caution but maybe that was to protect his idealistic side. He has a tendency to put his lover on a pedestal and worship them. Probably because he is grateful they stuck around while he's prevaricated. A partner goes from being decidedly mistrusted to idealised and adored in quick succession."

"In the romantic phase the Virgo will notice all the small things that make a big difference and gives a quality of attention that make a loved one feel valued. If he buys flowers they'll be his partners favourites and he takes care of details over any gifts."

There is a lot more after the above but I think you get the point. It sounds a lot like my Virgo however he was a bit more obvious in taking me out on 'dates' and the fact that he liked me when we first got to being friends. I read him like an open book (Pisces can be extremely perceptive). Virgo's are very much open books in my eyes, I can generally see straight thru them. Then again my brother is a Virgo too, so I guess I'm used to their 'oddball' behaviour (no offense Eric!).

Well I hope this article helps all those 'frustrated-with-Virgo' people out there.

[GemMoon]

This article was sooo interesting but I have to say it does not sound like my virgo AT ALL. First off he doesnt give gifts ever and he believes mushy stuff is for dating and not marriage (his words.) Also, he asked me to marry him after 3 months of dating and he pursued me heavily.