F*ck love

[M.]

I seriously have no sex drive. I swear to god. Ever since September I've been depressed in the L-O-V-E department, and after being romanced by a foriegner, I realized I still had intense feelings for the Cap, and of course, dealing with our painful separation. It's a dark period when you're just not in the mood because you're not attracted to ANYONE at ALL (but you fantasize about intimate times with him a lot). Like in that episode in Sex In the City, (don't watch that much, roommate busted it out in the living room one night) where that blonde woman who likes sex and sleeps around ('sexually liberated'), anti-relationship, ended up sleeping with her boss and liking him. When rumors has it that he woos another woman, at some cocktail party she got upset. Her friends made a comment about how she could just... get anyone she wanted, at the party. She made a fuss, storming while pointing at hot dudes, "I don't want to sleep with 'him' (1 dude).... and not even 'him' (another dude)... or even him!(another dude)"

that's exactly how I felt. Her friend offered other options but what she was saying was that he was irreplaceable.

So I'm trying to come to terms that it ended, so I could let go. I could say 'thank you' and move on. That relationship was all about control/power/ and projection anyway, me and the cap. Lord.

So, like my scorpio coworker said, "When I set expectation for anyone, they usually fail, so I won't even going to set anymore expectation." Fuck it. I am good at home painting and crap anyway. I finally realize that if I can't find enjoyment with others I'm just going to work, work work my ass off, and just spend time painting, which is work anyway in a different kind. Anyway, workaholic taurus, yes it's true.

My next priority will be my career.

Actually my first priority will be my career.

Eff everything.

Eff school.

Eff everyone. All. ALL.

Speaking of dudes, I moved into a trendy neighborhood in NYC, and then... I don't know if it's me projecting, but I feel like there are a lot of loser 24 year old here. Here are of course the one who's all trendy and hip and indie and hipsterish and super clique-ie. Then, there's the washed out 30 yr old something who still think they're 22 and has roommates. Huh. Musicians, artists, etc. My point is, I kind of don't like it here dating wise. I am considering making it down to the financial district and such because I miss dating a 33 yr old financial trader! I totally lucked out that time because he was hot, actually worked out, and well... another capricorn. But anyway. A little older dude who's very different and lives a seprate life than me sounds good. Hot as well.
sighs. ?

[Akrabu]

I'm feeling about like this myself. Tired of looking for love, and just want to focus on myself for a change.

Saturn in Libra, perhaps?

[joswanprince]

No, M..I mean in relationship ^^ It seems you still projecting your values with that Capricorn guy? Do you have any other types of guys for alternative? 'Cuz I know what is like to have eyes fix to someone, especially if you just over him recently.
Oh nvm..ur first priority is career, Go M! ^^

[Leo Female]

M-

Yes, They manage highrises and whatnot.....I work for the holding company that owns thwm so I know there is a lot to chose from there!!!

Sure, just go hang out front with a coffee...see what transpires!

[Karen]

M., when you're gireving and not feeling like meeting someone--that's OK! why shoudytoumeet or f*ck someone either, if yu're not in the mood?Nature built that in to us so we can heal, *and* grow! Don't look for someone else--even a good someone.Feel what you feel now, so it doesn't come out sideways later.And you'll be better off.*Do* use this time for painting and creating.
btw--I'm a native NY-er.What are they calling a trendy neighborhood now? ;-)

[M.]

Hey everyone thanks for your comments. Cheered me up on a monday morning.

Steamy: Can you explain the significance of Chiron/Saturn opposition? Basically, my roommate picked out that after Cap and I ended, I just became a workaholic. Then when I tell my therapist that I've been going to school every day even when I don't have to, she was "surprised" at my "dedication."

What was I supposed to do, grieve properly?

But it's true. I mean, school started and I can't hangout with friends, I don't have that much fun, and well, I just think that the next 26 yr old I meet, who I think might be actually cool, will end up into a disappointment. I don't know.

Leo Female: Haha. Isn't Cooper Square Realty property buildings? Should I just hang around there? Haha?

Joswan: I'm projecting myself? What does that mean? Like I'm only putting all the good attributes to a certain group? How does that work?

[JacQueuf]

oh, and i'd also prefer him in his 30's btw.

[JacQueuf]

while ur out on ur hunt make sure to find me one too. id prefer him to be dashing with a debonair smile and essence about him. that way, we'd both be supported and maintained by hopefully two NON-capricorns that rock a very form flattering suit by day and some maybe skinny jeans or slacks with a wool cap by night. ykno the kinda boy im talkin about.............. ;>

[JacQueuf]

why does she torture herself so much? saturn/chiron opposition.

I finally realize that if I can't find enjoyment with others I'm just going to work, work work my ass off

[Leo Female]

I feel for you, hun!! I have felt similar to that since the end of September but and I can;t figure out why. I start to pull myself out of the quagmire amd slip right back in....although my sex drive has never taken a turn south....i wish it would!

I hope you find what you're looking for up there...check out Cooper Square Realty in
Manhattan...lot's of what you're looking for there!! Not too many of those silly 24 year old metrso trying to prove something!!

Your first priority should always be you.....however, easier said than done. We women get so worked up over guys and most of them aren't worth more than a screw!!

[joswanprince]

but I feel like there are a lot of loser 24 year old here FUCK whoever born at 85-86!! ^^ Lmao..
I see you projecting yourself to older,secure,workin out sexy Capricorn who has Anderson Cooper hair? ;) wink wink
That's nothing wrong with it!!
But myself, I'm dyiinng to have love clique with NY's Bohemian artiste (the one that doesn't overweight/skinnish or stinky) lawl...I guess we never satisfied where we belong.