Taurus - taking it slow or just friendship ?

[Filomena]

That is my old story....Now turn to page 8 - new Taurus, new Santa Barbara ! ))))

I fall for this sexy smart Taurus guy at work. He seems to like me too, I secretely think he is in love )))), is eying me from every corner passionately, speaking mainly with me, everybody noticed our closeness BUT all this .... since...July....we went strolling in our district several times and to lunches and he was writing me on the Net when was in business trip - I feel that we are made for each other, so much fun with him and soooooo sexy ))))....In Sep/October he got extremely possessive, even mean and now does not allow me to talk to other guys....even that we don't have a proper relationship yet....He likes the idea that I belong to him. He said he is very conservative in a relationship and does not allow woman to be independent.....This is all weird because he actually never asked me out for a date....he always gets out of the office with me as if by chance....he touched my hands several times but....we still don't go out as normal couple....Can Taurus hesitate for such a long time ??? And I know he is single....I am kind of tortured.....

[Carmen]

My father is a taurus and I also dated a taurus on and off for about a year and a half. Taurus men are VERY possessive. Its up to you if you want to deal with that, because your guy sounds more extreme than the taurus men that I knew. They are also in need of that security just like a cancer, so he may be hesitant to just settle down with you in case you are not able to offer him that security and dependence that he so needs. I know the taurus I dated was possessive in the sense that when he was in town (and mind you we were never officially "together".) he made sure that when we were at parties, all of my attention was focused on him. He would give other men the "look". At the time I didnt mind though, because I knew all of my attention was meant for him and I enjoyed having him around. But he never set down rules, which I dont believe he would have had the right to do anyway. My father was similar, but less extreme: he was very laid back but he was very possessive with my mom. My parents are now divorced but still he continues to refer to my mother as his wife. I never criticize a style of dating, because I know we all have our own needs and desires, but if you really like him, you should think about whether or not you will be okay with that level of possessiveness. In a way it is good that he is alerting you now, so that you can be sure about whether or not that is okay with you.

[Filomena]

Thanks, it's a good point. I think that he was right when he told me that I flirt a lot around the office and "does not want to be number five in a queue"....when he talks with other girls it's very painful for me, Libras are also possessive and my ascendant is Scorpio....that's how I actually understood how I hurt his feelings....now I try to behave though )))) he is also much nicer and he gives me all his attention.....though on Friday we went strolling again and it was really cold and after 1 hour I proposed him to have a drink in a bar he said NO, I have my gym tomorrow morning, let's do it next time....but I don't even believe there will be NEXT time ))) it's been dragging for so long time.....((( I think he is somehow VERY insecure.

[Carmen]

Thats funny my mother is a Libra with a scorpio ascendent too lol. I think it could be part of his possessive nature where he wants to control the things that you guys do together. You offering to have a drink, while cute and fun, since it wasnt his idea, he probably wasnt too comfortable with it. I dont think you should put too much blame on yourself for "hurting his feelings" though. If it is in your nature to be friends with guys and free, then maybe this is not the guy for you. Imagine if he is doign these things now, how it would be once you guys are together? And believe me it will be alot stronger once you do. I think right now he is waiting to see if you are suitable enough for you. Sounds rough, but I dont mean it in a bad way. He is definitely interested in you, as it is obvious, but before he takes that next big step he wants to make sure that you will be his and ONLY his. If you are interested in taking that next step with him, show him more devotion, show him that you want to be his and the other men do not matter to you. He will appreciate your loyalty and respect you for it. Also, take on that feminine role. Offer to cook for him, invite him over (taurus men love to eat and they love comfort, especially in the home) to your house if you can. Show him how much you are willing to devote to him.

P.S. keep in mind taurus men can also be VERY cheap lol. so maybe he was thinking of how much that drink would cost and decided not to splurge too much.

[Filomena]

Right, about overcontrolling....when HE wants it, he does not take NO for an answer....even at work, when it does not concern him directly he wants to know everything I am doing, it is all so cute ))) and he can be SO sweet and tender as only Tauruses can be....my favourite guys. You are right again, he keeps asking me what I can cook and what he likes to cook, but i Think it's way too bold to invite him to my house, considering that we didn't even kiss )))).

[Filomena]

Hi Carmen ) Hope you are well.....me not really.....I have a feeling that it's not going to work....Yesterday we were at the bar with my colleague and she told him I am gonna be there, so he and other guys came over. We were just all over each other, touching the hips and he put his arm around my chair and asked me when I am cooking his favourite dish and we just couldn't stop talking....his affection was so obvious that my friend asked me why we are not together with him....and then today, we had a corporate dinner and he was supposed to come, he saw me briefly in the office, I had a vey nice dress and his face turned red, he said I wear a very nice perfume )))) it was funny....but he didn't come to dinner finally, 'cause he had some urgent thing to do. I sent him an sms saying that I regret he didn't come and it was a waist of the dress....))) he responded with some kind of joke. Then I went out with my friends after a dinner and at night when I came back, I saw he was online, I called him but he didn't pick up and I sent him sms asking to call me but he didn't....this kind of ignoring me after everything hurts my feelings....This really looks like he played a game or smth....I should probably forget about him, it's just so painful after yesterday when he was so tender.....how come men are like this ??????????????

[Sarah]

I would be careful with him. If he's already possessive, but hasn't made a move to have a relationship with you, then he's pretty extreme. I've had a relationship for two years now with a taurus, and at first he acted possessive, but once realizing I was as loyal and stable in my love as him, he let off and is very trusting. They give you the trust from the get-go, just dont break it. It is true that they like to consider their woman 'theirs', and even when they are liberal in friendships or business, they take a very conservative stance with their 'woman'. Im not married to the guy, but I already know what kind of house he wants to build for us and how many kids we might have. It's all a matter of what you find a level of comfort for yourself. Dont be afraid to set boundaries in the relationship; if he can't deal with it then leave him. I would just chill out with worrying about it, he obviously likes you. Just focus on yourself and make sure you actually would want a relationship with him to begin with, because he'll tell you that he wants one. He might not even tell you, he'll assume and then be hurt when you didnt realize that you are 'his'.

[Filomena]

Oh, I absolutely want this relationship...and he already chills out about this possessivness thing, probably because he saw that he is the only one who matters to me...I hope he is not cheap to that extent ))) he paid for lunches when we went out.....you see, being a Libra girl I am naturally free and extremely flirty, so I do understand why he was worried and unhappy about my behaviour.

[Jadey]

Wow I am really suprised to hear Taurus men are so posessive, my Dad is a taurus and he is the most easy going man alive, he doesn't seem to have any hang ups about my Step Mother, but they have been together a long time, he used to be the typical Dad though with our potential boyfriends..."Have her back by ten or I'll be in the car with my gun" lmao, good old pa :D

[Sarah]

I love libra/taurus relationships. I'm also a libra!!! =) I dont know if your mercury is in libra or not but if his is in taurus you're going to have a tough time understanding him. They dont like to discuss things fairly.

[Filomena]

Exactly, I also have this impression that he prefers to keep me guessing....He asked me today what are my plans for the weekend, I said I will make his favourite dish ))) He was excited but didn't say anything.....Well, it's his call now. I passed to a different department, so we won't see each other anymore at work. I think it's "make it or break it" situation. He will either miss me enough to do this decisive step, or I will understand that it was more of a game. Cruel game, because I like him too much.....

[Sarah]

Hmmm. You know my taurus guy chased after me while I was in a relationship with someone else. I told him directly that I wont cheat on my boyfriend, and to back off. Eventually I warmed up to the guy and realized I was in love with him (long story). I knew him longer than the other guy anyway. But in the end I had to come to him and explain my feelings. I told him point blank that I think about him all the time, have strong feelings and would like to begin at least a friendship (I was ending it with the other guy). He was really shocked that I was so honest with him. I told him that I dont want to play games and we can play on the feelings or leave it alone completely. Games are really only fun for a while anyway. We ended up moving in together two weeks later, and it's been almost two years and we're still together.

They are difficult guys. You can't read them. They wont understand your inability to make a decision. Ever stare at a menu in a restaurant for a couple hours before ordering? They hate that. For them they want practical information, and honest decisions. I can express my feelings, but I can't give up my love of arguing. If he likes you he will adapt. I think it's a real nice combination, because he's someone who wont let you win arguments. He wont even have them. It teaches you to chill out, think about why you are making so much stress in your head, and to breath easy.

[Filomena]

I don't really know ho to manage that....we won't see each other at work anymore. I have this horrible feeling that he won't do anything....may be it was just a game, may be he is not sufficiently in love....may be that may be this.....I don't want to run after him, as I think Taurus hates to be pushed around. But if I don't hear from him in the next week or so it will break my heart completely. Difficult moment. Totally.