In Doubt Taurus

[Itty]

So, where to begin? I've been extremely frustrated with myself. Not sure if it's stress or just my own complexity. I've been encountering a lot of conflicts these days with people. Conflicting ideas, people pushing all the blame on me, telling me that I am being too abrasive and I feel like the common denominator. I've been becoming doubtful of myself and my judgement thus accumulating a bad sense of self-esteem. No one seems to be willing to negotiate with me and it feels like they're running me over.

Here are the aspects of my chart:

Taurus ascendant Capricorn
Sun Taurus
Moon Virgo
Mercury Taurus
Venus Gemini
Mars Aquarius
Jupiter Taurus
Saturn Capricorn
Uranus Capricorn
Neptune Capricorn
Pluto Scorpio
Lilith Leo
Asc node Pisces

Not assuming that any of these things have anything to do with what has been going on. I've looked into my transits and I should be at the top of my game but for some reason I feel like I'm stuck under a rock of perpetually being picked on.

Here are some examples:

My older brother, the age of 30, is an ex drug addict. He pretty much is the reason why I had to grow up so fast. He was stealing and pawning my things, screaming at me constantly, and was very emotionally abusive to not only me but my parents. Now that I am living on my own, in my parents second home, he sleeps on the couch. I've been noticing my food being thrown out. He calls me expecting rides because he doesn't want to walk. I eventually snapped. Then I get told I need to seek therapy by my parents.

My boyfriend goes and hangs out with a "girl" friend. They go out to eat, go see a movie, then go back to her house and he promised to see me after. When I talk to him he acts like he doesn't know what I'm talking about he never promised he would and that I was being crazy. I didn't argue it with him. He then proceeds to be a prick and starts telling me that I need to stop being crazy. I had stopped texting him and trying to communicate. I don't know how that was a crazy move at all.

My other roommate, my middle brother (not the 30 year old) his girlfriend dumps all her dishes in the sink and tells me to do them. I tell her no, they're not mine do your own dishes. She starts freaking out on me telling me I never do anything. Which is kind of strange because she's always late on rent and she rarely lifts a finger around the house.

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I'm just tired of all of these things. I feel worn out, exhausted, and I feel like I'm getting all of the blame. I've tried so hard to adjust my attitude.

A few years ago this same line of events started occurring. It came to the point where I totally secluded myself from the world. When I realized no one cared that I was gone...it got even worse. :( I don't want to go down that road again. I don't know what to do.

[Forever_Midnight]

...


hugs!


I don't know what to tell you. Find things you love to do (even little things) and at points during the day, focus on that. It is a first impulse of mine to isolate too -- and had to get honest that I have done some of that recently. Trust that the chaos is there to teach you something.


...

[CoCo]

IT seems you need your own space to be able to think about your own priorities and not every one elses. You have to get some balls and tell them to eff off sometimes. I know you probably due and they say you have a bad attitude, but they suck so there...I know its hard for you to be on your own sometimes but its time to man up for some peace of mind.

[LittleRebel]

Hi and hug!

What a mess! its hard and complicate when it concerns family. Really I feel for you! I get caught up in such a mess many times because of my personality (may be it has to do with being Aries) I always give in to family and love ones, too many times they abuse it. Before I know I allow it to run until I feel i cant take anymore then i start to act and they accused me for not being considerate and brand me 'selfish'

That is what happen to Aries like me too many times! For a Taurus, i guess this is far more than being acceptable. Your brother's gf is such a bitch (sorry). Not only because she told do to clean her mess but for not showing respect, she need to go. Although its your parents house but If you are in charge of the place, dont let people treat you this way. Make sure you talk to them like adult with not too much emotional involved, if your brothers have problem with this, let them have it but outside the house. Yes I know its hard to do but you will figure how to handle it your (taurus) way.

How could you get a piece of mind if you dont find a peace in your own cave.

I think what is on top of everything and run you down is what your boyfriend did. Hmmm, that doesnt sound nice to me. I dont know the story but i guess you will just have to leave him alone for now and take care of your own sanity until you figure out if there is something wrong or its just one of those bad days.

Cheer up!

[erica17um]

Hugs sweets,

Plain and simple you need some me time and you need to tell people whats on your mind!
I really do think its that simple!

xoxo

[Itty]

Yeah but that is the problem. I speak my mind and tell people how I feel and I get run over and ridiculed for it.

[ananda]

So.............I'm wondering why you changed your Avatar and online name and how this fits into the picture.............
Anyway, under your previous name, many of the things you said I found to be quite abrasive and insensitive. The way you write here is quite different, softer.
Looking at your list of planets/signs above, without knowing the degrees, it's easy to see that a person with these aspects could come across as harsh, aggressive, imposing, etc.
Maybe the way you perceive yourself doesn't match how you come across to other people. Or maybe you're hiding some part of yourself, so, people can't really know you.
Did you ever do therapy with someone who can also read your chart? Maybe that could help you.