Capricorn men in relationships....confused!!!!!

[Nightwish]

Cap guys...in relationships...Im getting mixed signals...lol...the words dont always match the actions....
Cant figure out should I hang in there or abandon it....never known a Cap guy before...

Any insights would be appreciated!!! Cheers!

[Cusp Of Magic]

And funny enough, I'm older than he is.

Yeah my cappy likes older women too however I'm not older than he is but I feel I give him that same emotional freedom he probably got with older women.

[Nightwish]

What a great way of looking at it! When I started this post months ago now I was at my wits end! I also had to mature, adjust my way of thinking and reacting, dumpold negative habits, and my Cap guy has been unknowingly good for me, being a Cancer lady its not been easy and we occasionally have the odd glitch but months on I am very happy, I have never been treated so much like a lady, he is so honest, caring, and now we are very close, its not a text book romance, its adaily challenge, he always surprises me, Im never sure how it will go, but its always good,he can be hard work, but he is sensitive, loving in his own way, I trust him totally and if it all fails I will still be glad that I took the chance and we shared all we did...in my opinion Cap men are some of the nicest men in the zodiac, sadly misunderstood often, sensitive and easily hurt, so if you have patience, pass all their tests, prove that they can trust you, dont try to change them, just love them for who they are just as they are, unconditionally then you may be pleasantly surprised......

[ananda]

@Nightwish,
ha! so similar to what i just wrote below...didn't read this til now.

in my opinion Cap men are some of the nicest men in the zodiac, sadly misunderstood often
This might well be true. And I really think it has to do with how people feel about the lessons of Saturn. I suspect that the more we learn to appreciate Capricorn, the more we'll make peace with Saturn in our own lives.

so if you have patience, pass all their tests, prove that they can trust you, dont try to change them, just love them for who they are just as they are, unconditionally then you may be pleasantly surprised......
To that I'd just add "while at the same time paying attention to and constructively communicating about our own needs and longings."
Because I do think that - maybe thanks to Saturn - Caps generally speaking are really able to respond to genuine requests & needs. Not childishly demanding ones. Not indulgent ones. But real, authentic ones.

Capricorns are considered "responsible" - and at the root of that is "respond + able" - able to respond.

[Nightwish]

Yes that is so true and you are spot on! Cap men have a knack for reading other people so the childish/indulgent stuff is met with mild contempt, and yes I have found they do respond to genuine needs and requests greatly. Personally I find my Cap to be one of the most facinating guys I have ever met, complex and with many layers, being 45 myself and him being 47 we have quite a lot of life experiences behind us both, we talk for hours about everything and anything, we have built a very strong friendship, its challenging but very rewarding to have him in my life, personally I am glad I did not give up on him!!!

[Rachel]

I am dating a Cap. guy and I tell you, you are right! They claim one thing and then their actions reads another. For instance, he demands for privacy, but will not hesitate to violate mine. hmmmm! If you figure out anything, please let me know!

[Allie Friend]

I think I'm just gonna give up on this one. Caps want a lot--but don't give it themselves, unless it is on their time and/or conditions. I'm a Cancer--and I have typical Cancer needs. But, I also have my own career, my own life, my own schedule. I don't submit to yours--because I would never ask you to submit to mine, out of sheer respect.

I have a lot to offer--but you've got to give back as well. Relationships are not one-way streets.

[Cusp Of Magic]

But, I also have my own career, my own life, my own schedule. I don't submit to yours--

Yeah it's probably best you move on cos you and your cappy won't work with both of you having your own things going on. Someone has to comform to the other and its not going to be him and you don't want it to be you so it's best you move on cos right now both of you have the same roles and both indivuals in the relationship can't have the same roles and the relationship work.

[TF]

Update on my situation....after the ignoring from the cap and then the hanging up on me when trying to discuss things....I completely blew him off....I would return a text or a phone call....well I finally was cooled off enough to return a call this past week. We had a really good talk and I let him know that I wasn't hanging out for this, the way it is now. Well since then, things have been better, he has been initiating all contact I've gotten phone calls, text, he showed up at my house when I was moving to see if I needed help, he came over last night to help put a door back and a couple of days ago he reminded me again that if I need him for anything he is there all I have to do is ask, because he is not a mind reader. So at this point it seems good, I'm going to hang out a while longer and see where it goes....moving this close to him could have been a good thing...not sure yet, but I do know how they are somewhat homebodies and like to stay in their area close to family and all. I will keep you all updated on what happens. Last week I was done with all the frustration, I would never have guessed I would still be hanging out....but damn, he is so handsome and sexy and fun to be with....just like Ananda wrote...if I were younger I would have let this one go a long time ago, but being older and having not so favorable experiences with men....I do know he is a good man and will use the patience I've learned over the years to find out a little while longer.

[Nightwish]

So pleasedfor you! So recognise this one!! You said it patience!! Dont give up! Its really worth it!!! Goodl uck!!!

[ananda]

@TF
I'm happy for you that you're finding enough space inside you & enough communication outside, between you, to give you the feeling that it's OK for you and maybe well worth it to give it time, to lean into patience...
It's a great feeling, isn't it, to have lived enough to be able to recognize what a 'good man' is, for you...? And to be able to value one when he comes along.
I just wrote another response above to Cusp, if you want to see.
And just this past week, I had more waves of growing with my Cappy, where at the moment, after some constructive talks about my needs and what I'd wish for, and experiencing how much we value and enjoy each other and openly telling each other about that, it seems the trust has deepened yet again - and another opening in the intimacy between us followed.
I love the way he responds to me. It's slow building, just as one would expect with a Cap, but it feels so solid, real and stable.
Even if our relationship would end unexpectedly in the near future, I do not think I would ever look back and say "I shouldn't have trusted him." Because these baby steps we take are so real, so unimpulsive, so trustworthy. And yet that can never mean "forever" because a forever that's really real can only happen when arrived at step by step (like a subtle and sweet surprise).
As opposed to the incredibly absurd mass-delusion that if you get married it has to be "forever." I understand the wish & the longing & the fantasy...the idea that we could get such a guarantee... But guarantees like that come at the expense of "truth." And I'd rather be in my truth & divorced (such as I am) than living forever in a marriage that strangulates my truth & life force.
I love that about my Cappy. We're clear that we're together now because it's our truth & we love each other. And we're also clear that this can change. A part of me hates how vulnerable I feel with that, but another part of me deeply appreciates the authenticity & realness of that. And - step by step we see more and more that the other genuinely cares and means well, so, if our relationship would end, it probably wouldn't be handled recklessly.
And that's perhaps part of the positive aspects of Capricorn's patron planet Saturn: caution, seriousness, slow progress, stability, responsibility, etc.

[Nightwish]

Ananda@ what can I say! Perfect!