cancer male - pisces female

[Sue]

I'm a Pisces female 26 years old.I've been seeing a Cancer guy for a few months, I didn't take it very seriously at first as wasn't looking for anything serious with him, though his sweetness and affectionate nature got me hooked. I recently moved city to do a one year course and beforehand tried to discuss it with him. he really avoided the topic and when I moved I decided we should go on a break. since then we have been in touch infrequently and both miss each other, then i didn't hear from him for ages 'till he phoned me saying he was coming to visit. Since then I heard so little from him I gave up ..then he gets in touch calling me 'stranger', I rang him to speak to him and he doesn't answer my call. Is communication with a cancer normally this difficult. !!!!!

[Sue]

Hmmmm! Interesting...
What about the feelings of the lovely pisces ladies?

[firey_ice]

lol..i think it's really true..they can't take it that they are not your priority.. like those children always want to be first in mom's eyes.. (i 've cancer brothers and cancer frens..lots)

[Sue]

hee hee! your right!
cheers
:)

[Nasara]

Funny, this only made my cancer male run away and claim he just wants to be friends. I never stopped communicating with him and we work together so I am stuck seeing him at work all the time now with a broken heart while he acts like I never mattered.

[horizon]

being a cancer male, i might reply if you wish... i can only speak for me, but i find me on an eternal search for the right person, and yes i was married to a taurean for 20 yrs, who i did love so very deeply...

we meet many people in our lives and some do become very close, but i think we may know there is that right person out there somewhere... and believe me, i've met many since i've been single, and so many are very very nice people,
but i do continue...

[Laura MacDonald]

hey sue im laura :) what happened?!!! sorry but i was reading it and its like a story that needs the ending told - did uz meet up? did he say anything? i really want it to end well!

its really funny because as soon as you said about the whole losing his job thing well im currently in a sort of relationship type thing with a cancer guy thats only a week or two old and it sounds like him a wee bit. I wouldnt even call it a relationship or even dating lol because im really bad at judging whether guys want more than just one night even if they're trying hard lol. ive been told im a typical pisces for that. :/

but he had lost his job because of the big old credit crunch and to be honest im kind of glad that i missed all the trouble he went through coz with any guy they have a real blow to the ego if they cant afford to even offer to pay for everything (which i always refuse anyways which maybe is why he likes me lol). and it does really affect cancers because they always want to seem the gentlemen even if they behave like man whores lol :) not saying that they are all like that.

anyways i do hope you find a man who doesnt frustrate you and the best thing i could say is that if u do kind of want him back then maybe talk to him about the decision of the whole goin on a break thing. because to me that would be the main reason for him trying to remain aloof as he didnt get to make it. good luck in life if we dont message on here again :) xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Sue]

Hey Laura!
Thanks for writing and sorry I'm so late getting back...
To cut a very long and a bit draining story short we went our seperate ways...after much tooing and fro0ing (all by text which was doing my head in ) I finally said look lets just leave it..He was so childish and said ok if ya wanna get in touch ya have my number! I got quite mad and told him it wasn't that I din't want to see him I just wanted to keep tings simple and be together or not together as he was making s little effort...just enough to keep me hanging in there..It was really dificult not to get in touch but I didn't, and surprise surprise when December came around he started to e.mail me...as he knew I was back in town. All jokey and flirty as if nothing had happened I played along cause the childish side of me wanted him to suggest meetin gup so I could say -no thanks! But I got really annoyed with his easy breezy manner and said what are u in touch for and finally only about 2 months too late he said- 'sorry have been thinking a lot about you lately and how badly I've treated you, I was wrapped up in work etc etc...' I replied and said ok but its a bit late now, he wrote back saying for 'what its worth I'm really , really sorry about how things turned out..' I kinda felt for him then because I'm a soft touch but really had seen how childish and selfish he is and couldn't consider us being more than friends now.....so we left it at that and every now and again he sends me idiotic forwards about sex and stupid animal pics!

Thanks for your nice message...how's it going with your cancer guy? hope its better than that even still I think they are sweeties but your right pretend to be ;manwhores' ha ha ha!

I met a nice Piscean guy before I left home he's coming to visit in a week so we'll see how that goes...so far so good!!!

Wishing you all the best!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

[Rockchick]

Hi Sue,

I think your Cancer male is just wrapped up in his own problems and possibly feels that he has already let you slip through his fingers. They can be very strong when they feel their partner has their back but are amazingly vulnerable and unsure when they feel they've made a mistake.

This is a Cancerian man... they feel they should be self reliant, confident and be unconditionally appealing to the girl they choose. :} If they don't have these things, they can be a little childish and will retreat to review their lives and gather their energy. When they have the relief of a lighter mood, they will come back out of their shell and fix what has gone wrong and you might never know they had this black mood or dark time because they will try to be the knight in shining armour they see themselves to be.

If you still have feelings for him... help him. Even if it just as a friend. It can be frustrating not to know if you will get back what you want from him or to have that sign of reassurance from him but to be with a Cancerian... in fact to be with any man, it is a matter of making him feel like a man so he can make you feel like a queen. :)

I hope it works out for you because I know that he will always have a thought for you... even if he is too stubborn to admit it. Take care and good luck!

xx

[Sue]

Hey Rockchick!

Thanks for replying to my mail...

Eventually after lots of toing and froing by e.mail I made up my mind not to continue with this Cancer guy as his e.mail were making me so angry. He eventually apologised for treating me so badly and said he was caught up in his work. I appreciated that at least he apologised as I was beginning to think he was a real jerk..
Unfortunately it was too little too late...

recently I begun dating a fellow Piscean which has been very interesting !
:)

[Jadey]

I agree that he withdrew to protect himself.

My cancer ex was just as you described in the beginning, I didn't want anything more than friendship but over time his sweetness and persistance changed my mind.

I guess us Cancers do want to feel like we are at least high up on the list of priorities and once we feel as though we are, we will do pretty much anything to make our partner happy.

I think he was so wounded by your decision to leave that he believed your feelings for him were not strong enough, he wouldn't have wanted to stand in the way of your happiness but he would also want to be certain that he really mattered to you.

He probably figured that if he kept pursuing you with as much enthusiasm as he had originally, he was very likely to get hurt/rejected. Cancerians worry constantly and second guess themselves and if they really are falling for someone the discomfort of not having those feelings returned (or thinking they are not returned) is strong. So we are more likely to scurry back in to that safe shell until we are drawn out. This is when you have to be the one to lay your feelings on the table.

He probably just needed that reassurance from you, we can be a little dumb romantically and sometimes need someone to spell out how they feel for us in neon lights before we get it.

Sorry it didn't work out

[Sue]

Hey Jadey!

Thanks for your reply....

Thats a nice way for me to view it and understand the situation a bit better.
I often asked him if he was annoyed I decided to go but he always said no, he really hid his feelings so I thought he didn't care at all. Though I feel he really did treat me badly when the distance became a problem maybe it could have worked if he was more willing to talk but really I think it wasn't meant to be...corny as it sounds. Still it was mostly a good experience.

Thanks for your comment!
x

[Jadey]

Hey, your welcome! ;)

My guess is this guy really cared about you. I reckon he probably became a jerk because as you guessed, his pride was dented and he felt rejected, Like the preemptive strike so to speak.

Cancers only tend to be nasty if someone really hits a nerve with them, and with the added issue of his job loss, I wouldn't be suprised if he was feeling very unworthy of you anyway.

Cancer men are terrible at talking about their feelings (the woman are better but still not so great) I suppose we need to know it's totally safe to share without any risk of getting hurt.

He wouldn't have wanted to be the reason you didn't follow your dreams, so thats another reason he would have kept quiet.

We all live and learn eh? hope it all goes well with the pisces :)