Aries Mothers... do they tend to be overly controling and obsessive over their children?

[Moody STARS *-*]

Hello everyone,

Lets see where should i start...

I have an Aries mother, and I'm Cancer (yes it is a very interesting mother daughter relationship). I once told my mother, "Mom i love you, but i can't stand you" I know it sounds mean but the way we clash is very amusing, if your not me. She tends to be overly controlling of my life, when i told her that i was leaving home to go to the university she got mad at me and said "why don't you staying at the community college, become a secretary and marry and educated man?" I couldn't believe what she had said, i could do better than be a secretary (no offense to anyone who is a secretary, any job is a respectable job) and I am a very capable woman that doesn't need a man to survive, well what she said bothered me terribly, i honestly got pissed at her. You see, I graduated as one of the best students in my class, took some of the most difficult classes, and i was involved in intellectual organizations and i had wanted to become a writer/business lawyer from the age of 12. After I told her that I was going no matter what, she said that she hadn't expected me to leave the home until I got married, (the funny thing about our relationship is that she acts like more of a cancer than me most of the time). Either way, this conversation took place nearly a year ago, now I'm a freshmen in college and loving life, but every time I go home my mother keeps making comments on how i should come back home next school year and asks me the same question "why did you leave?" repeatedly after I've told her many countless times, and then she begins to cry and make me feel like the worst person in the planet, and when I'm at the University she gives me such a hard time constantly calling me and stressing me out with unnecessary comments.

Since I was a child my mother has had complete control over me, i was always obedient but mostly because i didn't want to go through the trouble of rebelling, but the last couple of years shes become worse, last time when i went home i went to the library in the morning and didn't tell her because she was sleeping, when i got back home she made a huge deal, during high school she rarely let me go out, i think i went out like 8 times during my whole 4yrs of high school. In my mothers head, I'm apart of her world, and I can't do anything unless she approves. Once i heard this girl say something about her own mother that i felt was true about mine, "Darling i want you to be happy, as long as it is on my terms."

I don't know if all mothers are like this (considering I only have one haha jk :P) I was wondering if this is typical of an Aries mother? I'd expect this from a Cancer mother but i don't think I'd ever be this overly controlling.

[LH]

I have an aries mother and an aries father and they both have venus in taurus. So controlling and possessive and telling me what to do were definite trademarks of my upbringing. My mum is far worse than my dad though. My mum even now, when im 27 cannot STAND me making decisions in my life and she does things like catches me on an emtional day and somehow tries to plant seeds of doubt, that at the time you dismiss, but later they eat at you and then next thing you know youre in a right mess, calling your mum, the one person you dont want to speak to...see they just want to control your decisions and they seem to like to be needed, so create problems and drama in order to be able to be there for you, never mind the fact its messing with your mind and hormonal balance. my mum and dad are both great listeners but my mum gives too much in her opinions instead of waiting for me to finish. we clash like hell, im a gemini and cant spend too much time together. she's the one person i can lose my temper with in a flash. my dad, as he is calmer is more my listening post.

my boyfriends mum is an aries, same birthday, she makes him tell her what time he got up and then break down his day, she then proceeds to pick apart decisions hes made and tells him what he should or could have done instead. she gets mad if he doesnt call her everyday too. cant stand not knowing what he is up to.

insane parents!

[Maria]

I sooooo sympathize with you, that's exactly what i go through with my dad! he's a virgo!
he says some underhanded comments, somehow tries to plant seeds of doubt, he has his passive agressive ways to get away with it in that moment, i dismiss or overlook it at the time, then it creates a whole mess and before you know it im trying to get on the phone or email with him, the one person i dont want to speak to, its so confused and no closure just like how you'd described, exactly!!! I thought I was nuts!!! Im 28 years old!! I was thinking im too old for this shht! omg. Like you mother, he gives too much of his opinions, interrupts, doesnt let me finish. i sware your mom is my dad. he doesnt change!! never! he goes back and does the same thing of course, and then he tries to shut doors of communication behind him so that he's the right one when he's clearly out of line!! its too much!!
What you've wrote is a really good description of what I'm dealing with..
my mother's mother is capricorn and she is like that too, she can say such upsetting things that will creep into your thoughts and bother you later on, she has certain judgements and opinions you know. although sometimes she's easier to talk to than my father, it stands a better chance and is less upsetting.. although she can also be difficult to deal with.
I am an aries btw and to put myself in your shoes, I can see how maybe I'd do some of those things to my little sister who's a cancer.. I try to mind my biz nowadays and just listen instead of being a fighter or protector type but it's true that her boyfriend was an A-hole to her a lot and she was like, really "whipped" by him so, i'd see the bad things what he'd do to her or how he'd treat her and try to build her up for having better expectations and things..
I'd think that like, it's maybe less upsetting to hear those things when you trust or like and really get along with the person who's giving you advice or trying to talk to you like that. that's what ive found lately, that theres some people whom i can take criticism from as if it's a very non threatening thing that's coming from a friend and I don't even think twice about it like it doesnt phase me, and then theres some people who i wanna break their fingers for pointing and making judgements! that must be some of the pisces in me!

[andreanna]

I'm a Leo with an Aries mother and she was extremely overbearing. Anything my older sister had done wrong in life I would have opportunities taken away from me because of that. Example: My sister went away to school and dropped out since I graduated early my mother wouldn't sign off for me to go to my dream school nor would she take me to tour the campus or anything.

I am the only one of my sisters who does not live at home. I moved out at 18 and never went back.

My mother is extremely codependant and stayed in an abusive marriage for years. I think that controlling her children made her feel like she had some control since she had no control over her own life.

[Eurobabe60]

Oh boy, I am a Leo (moon in Libra) with an Aries Mom (her moon is in Leo), I feel your pain. My mom has been a drama queen all of my life, she does anything and everything she can to needle me, lay guilt trips, sabotage. She is extremely passive-aggressive, always has been. My partner laughs because my mom says I am a diva and that I just come into her house and take over things - he says she needs a mirror. When I was young she was very controlling, I just did what she wanted to keep the peace, but as I got older I didn't hesitate to snap back at her, she hates that and says our relationship is not what it was , well yeah -- now I speak up when she pisses me off! She can't handle it. I love her, but she is very difficult to get along with. Just out of curiousity, have you done the rest of her chart? I'd love to know where her moon is located, and if her Mercury is by chance in Pisces (that's where my mom's is, and she is very unevolved Piscean at times!) Good luck in your struggle, you'll be fine, just stay strong, maintain your boundaries.

[Christopher]

Holy Shinola, does your story touch base with me.

My ex-girlfriend is also a cancer, and her father is an Aries.

He destroyed our relationship, and she abandoned me in order to please him.

He NEVER, EVER liked the fact that I am Roman Catholic. He is a Protestant and a T-Totaler who was totally against any notion of my ex going to church with me, which would have meant I had to abandon my religion in order to please him and her.

He NEVER, EVER liked the fact that I am an officer. He is an enlisted man, and hates all officers.

He is one vindictive SOB. True story:

My ex's mother came home from the hospital back in 1984. She was recovering from child birth, and was not feeling well. Anyway, so the father makes her breakfast and she doesn't eat it because she still feels sick from the child-birth. So what does the Aries father do? Throw the breakfast away, and NEVER makes breakfast for her again for over 20 damn years!!!! What kind of vindictive, spiteful behavior is that? Make one mistake, and BOOM! No more breakfast?

WTH is that all about?

Sheesh, talk about holding a grudge? How about 20 years worth!!!!!!!!!!!

[aries woman]

lol i'm an aries mother naw i worry about my daughter but wouldn't exactly be controlling somethings she does yeah but not everything i let her be her own person and i know she always comes too me so i've faith in everything she does. as for making comments too our kids well i can honestly tell u that she never ment too hurt u god that would be the last thing she'd do is too hurt u. aries mothers are very protective over their kids and would die for them in a spilt second no problem too us but hurts our own kids naw that would totally break an aries mothers heart cas she knows she never ment too do that. your mom is just worried about u cas she can't protect u the way she use too be able too.

[naideane rain]

hi i am n aries to be mom bt i would never not acknowledge yur dream i believe my child can b anythng they dream of.I would actually help them get there.what yur mom said was mean and unlike me.there are alot of kids who look up to me
so i couldnt fade a dream yu kno my godmom is a bitch tho she is an aries also and so i kno where yu are comin frm i lived wit her and i left bcuz she is controlling as ever.I want my child to be successful and have freedom of speech to tell me exactly how they feel bcuz i would rather have my child have a relationship wit me rather than to try to find love and appreciation somewhere else bcuz i've experience tht feeling yu kno.my child is gonna be everything to me and so i will have a good understanding wit my child bcuz not every aries mother is the same.so i hope yu stand up to yur mom and explain to her well she won't listen but venture out and show her tht yu are better then wat she thinks lol bye

[Tee Jay]

Hey everyone,

I am Sag who has an Aries sister. She's older and I'm the baby. We have had a VERY explosive relationship over the years which has become physical on more than one occasion. I'm just curious because she just had a baby yesterday which makes him a Libra. I find it funny because he was due Nov. 9 which would have made him a Scorpio but came yesterday by c-section. Any thoughts on an Aries mom with a Libra son?

[Moody STARS *-*]

Hey Tee Jay,

Sorry for replying back so late :S, I have been busy w/ school and have not had a chance to check my comments here...

Well anyways, Aries and Libra are solar opposites. They will balance each other out but I am not so sure about the mother-son relationship they will have. Actually my mother is Aries and my step-dad is Libra, and they get along well, but what I have observe is that Libra is better for Aries then Aries for Libra. My step-dad seems to bring my mother a sense of balance and stability and calms her down when she starts to become unreasonable and angry. Though because of these strong traits my mother has, my step-dad can sometimes become exhausted and impatient with her but since he is usually level headed he calms down right away and always tries to find a solution for the problem. So what I can predict from my experience is that her Libra son will bring peace and calm to your sister :D but it will probably be when he is older and can speak up for himself and his opinion. (Though one thing, Libras are impressionable so having an Aries mother might result in him growing up differently than my step-dad who had a Cancer mother). Also him actually being due in Nov. 9 which is the Scorpios domain might give him a stronger personality ready to take on his Aries mother, but in which case they might have a hard time getting along. :S

I hope I was of help :D

[Maria]

Omg im so going nuts about my own father who is a virgo!! He thinks he allows you to do what you want but then he passively agressively tries to control you and stink the air about the things you do.. You always find that he was just maniuplating bc he gets to the point he stomps his foot and demands that youre wrong!
And this has been bothering me very much lately, and I was asking myself the same thing, if all parents were like this?!!!
Ive always felt him to be so castrating!! Maybe bc in this case, it's a father with his daughter.. If it were my mother, I might describe it differently although theyre doing the same things!!
I am an aries sorry to say, and I've felt that it was my father's insecurity that made him that way.. always critical contorlling and picking..
I can see how maybe an aries could be that way too, bossy and protective.. but for the most part I always thought that aries has the innate sense of right from wrong, and is capable of making a happy home?
My sister is a cancer and one thing I know is that aries and cancer are very similar people in that they dont like the finger being pointed at them or being told what to do. aries is protective, cancer is nurturing.
I can see how you'd say she acts more like a cancer sometimes, bc really they are very much alike.. but express themselves differently.. the two do tend to choose a different route to go about things. and omg it creates such drama.
between my sister and i, i think my ways best and she thinks her ways best. something like that.
we can both agree to have our own ways at some point, but they do clash.. and it can be a turn off.
Well I might not have helped too much but you gave me some insight today concerning parents, and how even an aries like myself can come across being someone so "toxic" and controlling as a virgo parent. It helps! thnx
I think I feel less disturbed about it overall, knowing this!
I'm a 28 yr old female and I try to tell him i need BOUNDARIES i mean he even gets on my back making comments about my weight, really violating insults and such.
My mother's mother is exactly like this too, she is a capricorn. Parents like this drive me nuts!

[Moody STARS *-*]

Hey Maria, thanks for the comment :D

"he even gets on my back making comments about my weight, really violating insults and such."


My mother does the exact same thing! Always comments about my weight and lately I have been breaking out a lot, something I never did even in my early teen yrs and she is constantly making comments and getting mad, its not even her face! haha

But parents like these do not seem to listen to reason... its been a year since I posted this and I have learned in this past year that you can not give them options, whenever I want to do something, like go out, take trips or anything I don't ask permission or even tell her, if she asks me I don't lie I tell her what I did or what I am going to do, but at the same time wording my words so that I am not asking for her permission and I have found that she is getting use to the idea that I am my own woman and do what I want. Of course she is my mother and of course I'll listen to what she tells me, but I try to not get to that part of the conversation and kind of go around it not giving her the opportunity of saying no or object. Like for example, mom: "what are you doing this weekend?" me: "I'm going to LA with my friends this weekend." I avoid the "I was thinking of going to LA but I'm not sure" or the "Can I go to LA with my friends?" haha Always act confident and always be sure, I have to be stronger than her or else she'll step on me.

"My sister is a cancer and one thing I know is that aries and cancer are very similar people in that they dont like the finger being pointed at them or being told what to do."

I thought this was so funny and a really good observation! I do NOT like being told what to do, I am very likely to rebel, I know it can be bad but its like something takes over and I can't help to push back, haha. I can sometimes see how my mom and I are very similar and it can be scary but she is over all a good mother who tries hard, the distance has helped a lot cause I don't have to hear her 'comments' as much and when we are around each other we both try to get along and enjoy the time we spend together.

Well again thanks for the comment I enjoyed reading it ^-^

[Maria]

Omg the breakouts!! That happened to me last year! That's all they'd talk about is the face and the pimples!!! I know!! thats so funny!! for me it was kind of a case of acne/rosacea, if you know what i mean my face was getting kindof pinkish even though im like a fair olive skin tone..i think it came about from having sensitive skin and allergies although i never had sensitive skin before yeah..
heheh thanks