Scorpio and Aries.. Diluted flames?

[GangtaofLove]

I've noticed a lot of peeps have been talking about this combo on SC.
So maybe you can offer me some advice.
I myself am a Scorpio and have never been involved with an Aries before but I find that I'm usually very fond of Aries guys. About three years ago I met an aries and we both liked each other a lot. We hung out and talked about everything.
He was very easy to talk to and hang out with. There was a really strong happy energy between us and we couldn't stop talking to each other. It was great.
We both liked each other and it was pretty obvious but none of us really acted upon it.
When I saw him again I was very excited and he had a huge smile on his face and he just ran up to me, looked at me with a huge smile and ran away.
Then I saw him again and realized he was with some other girl. I was a bit nervous and was scared of rejection so I didn't approach him. He kept coming up to me and smiling and saying hello. But then after he saw I wasn't really responding he stopped. When I saw him alone, I came up to him and asked him how he was doing. Thats when I found out he had a girlfriend. He just said he can't talk to me because he's going swimming with his girlfriend. I was really shocked and confused. I just walked away. As I was walking away he began describing the pool to me and telling me I should check it out.
After that I kept seeing him everywhere I went but he ignored me. He was friends with some of my friends friends and therefore was always hanging out with them. At one point I was taking a class with him and his girlfriend and they were sitting next to my friends right behind me. He would always look at me but never approach me or talk to me. Almost like hes watching some silent film. This really bothered me. When he saw me hanging out with another guy he got really hurt and walked up to me and gave me the sad puppy face.
Sometimes he would try to approach me or say hi and sometimes I would try approaching him but we never got through to each other. I was very hurt and scared of how he would respond.
Eventually last year I saw him a few times, he had already left the school we both went to but was visiting. I msged him online since he is friends with one of my friends and he responded very defensively.
I was a bit vague I will admit but thats what I do sometimes when I don't know what to expect, I said hi, I think I know you.
He responded saying we met once at orientation and you never said a word to me again not even a hello I figured you didn't like something about me.
So you don't know me and I don't know you but anyway hi.

That was it. I thought it was strange that he was being so defensive since I was the one who was hurt and was being ignored even though I tried talking to him several times. I just cracked a joke about something unrelated and told him that it wasn't exactly the way things went down. He never responded after that but I sent him about 3 more short msgs one which was Thats too bad. I really liked you.

Hmmmph. Now its over with. The msging and everything. He doesn't go to my school I don't know who he is or where he is or what hes doing with his life. All I know is he was someone I really liked and wanted to know. He didn't even resolve anything with me it seems like he just made up his mind and I'm out of the picture. Theres no option for friendship even. It sort of hurts. Maybe it sounds silly because I don't really know but I kept seeing this guy for two years and we always looked at each other but didn't say a word. I miss that person I met. I don't know that there is anything I can say to him to convey that.
I thought I saw him again recently and I got startled and turned away and walked as quickly as I could in the opposite dircetion. I keep thinking I'll see him again and that maybe we'll have a future as friends or anything. I really thought he was special and different from anyone I had ever met but I did not want to get in the way of his relationship and we were having a lot of trouble confronting each other. I feel like I need to properly talk to him about it because its hard for me to get it off my mind. I don't like most guys and don't trust almost anyone but I felt like I could trust him and I hardly knew him.

My questions I guess are how do you deal with these communication issues?
and how do I deal with someone who is so contradictory that he tries talking to me but then becomes emotionally avoidant?

[VAries]

Hi again!

As I said in my thread, it is hard for Aries to understand you Scorpios. We are open and upfront (usually) and sometimes think people understand what we think. He probably thought he was being very open about being drawn to you and he probably took your response as lack of interest. When you hurt an Aries pride it can be a problem and Scorpios seem to do that sometimes with thinking sometimes without it! To be honest your needs for space and time is very baffling to an aries person.

Though he could have handled things better. I know when i feel I have been rejected, I tend to be very shy afterward even if the person turns out to be friendly. He probably just can't understand you and is being very careful.

I think the best way for communication is for aries to continue to be upfront but try to understand better and for scorpios to understand that sometimes you have to be upfront with aries and we will try to understand if we care. my scorpio does not want to talk to me. After my thread, i decided to text him to see how he was doing. he did respond then stopped responding. now he is signed on aim with the sign on he says he "never" uses - the one he forgot I still have. So it hurts - i have no idea why he does not want to talk to me though he has his reasons. he does not want me to think he is upset or anything or he would not have responded to my texts. again, it hurts, but my part is to try to understand without judging or taking it very personal. i just hope when he stops sulking or being mad or whatever he can meet me halfway and tell me why he decided to sulk or whatever.

so aries-scorpio communication really needs both sides to give a little to see the other point of view. neithter side can do ALL the work.

[GangtaofLove]

I think its just men. I've really had enough of doing all the dirty work. :)

[GangtaofLove]

I think he likes me. I'm usually very discriminating about things like that.
Just the way he looks at me and he came back to visit and went to eat at the cafeteria but as soon as he saw me there he walked out. I think that means he cares on some level he also used to get very jelous when he saw me with other guys. I don't know. It wasn't sexual at all and thats not what I'm interested in he just seemed to really enjoy my company. I don't think it had to do with romance as much as it had to do with just a feeling that we could be friends.
I really miss him.

[jasmin jane]

It's funny. I'm a Scorpio, and i recently had an Aries man. I was crazy about him. I found him to be a really interesting person and loved being around him. But looking back now i can definitely see that the whole communication thing was an issue. He was an upfront sort of guy..confident but not arrogant..a little wise and a little charming. So i was intrigued. Though most of all he was upfront about how he felt when we argued. And it always felt like something was missing but ultimately we're just incompatible. I knew that from the start but i didn't want to think about it. We recently had a big chat since he moved and he really opened up to me like never before, revealing a lot about how he actually feels quite worried, disapointed and insecure about about himself. Which is so different to how anyone perceives him. Despite the fact he moved far away so things couldn't work out anyway. We talked several times every single day since he left for about 2 months, in that time i felt closer and more of a connection with him than i did the entire 8 months i was with him physically. Even while putting things into perspective now sex was admitably probably at the top of the list before any other aspect of our relationship. Which is sad. But even while we have had a closer mental connection than before, we've been arguing continuously, it's been unstoppable. A vicious cycle of disagreements, insults, then feeling hurt and upset, then apologies and i love yous. It's exhausting.

So we decided last week that we both know we need to stop talking because this relationship we've been having since he's been gone is not realistic and so we both need to move on with our lives. But we both still have feelings for each other, and care a lot about each other. He's tried to contact me since then, and i've replied with sort of small talk and pretty much cut off the conversation. It's like a big game of cat and mouse. Although it is impossible for me to forget about him and hard to let him go, it's what's best for me. I never thought i could have this much self control and not give in to contacting him. But i know that if i do, because i do still love him deep down, i wall fall right back to where i was and that hurt too much. It was unhealthy.
I do think that when and if i get to see him again, we will have missed eachother and both want eachother, and maybe even second time around we can work with what we've learnt... But i believe now that i deserve to settle for something more, someone who wants and needs me as much as i need them, and someone i have a truly deep connection with in every sense. It seems too hard to find though ^o)

Sorry to ramble. I think that's sad about you and your Aries. They're really intriguing guys and they're a lot of fun in a lot of ways. But i think i'll stand by the fact we're simply not compatible. Ofcourse it matters a lot what else has effect on your chart. But I really do think that a relationship betwen an Arien and a Scorpion is definite hard work. Filled with power struggles, arguments, lack of communication, lack of a deep connection, and really hot sex.

[Lena]

I agree with jasmin. I married an Aries man and it's true that we're just not very compatible. Sorry to break that to you, but believe me it's been harder to accept myself. My only saving grace with my Aries man is my heavy Sagittarian influences. Without the Sagg in play, I probably would be looking for an exit.

[GangtaofLove]

So, I haven't gotten this guy off my mind. I'm not thinking anything will ever happen.I haven't seen him and may never see him. But I feel that I still want to be his friend. I would want to ask him if we could start talking again bc I had a lot of fun talking to him. It seems futile tho, he never responds to my email msgs, which are very short, concise and pretty casual.
I guess that means there is nothing to think/talk about with him. I really just want to ask him if we can still be friends but I don't know if I'm taking this too far by still wanting to contact him. He never said that he doesn't want to talk to me and he friended me as well, but he doesn't respond to my msgs. I'm not thinking about him anymore but I would like to know that I still have him as a friend. I read somewhere that aries get turned off by people who are too readily available or chasing after them. I guess I could see that. I don't want to be that person but it hurts that we lost touch and I don't even know who he is anymore.

[Natasha]

I'll let other people answer, but perhaps you know my mom and dad are Aries and Scorpio? 8)

Yeaaah. XD

[GangtaofLove]

Btw I havent msged him in a long time and only msged him 4 times. The first time he responded.

[GangtaofLove]

Yes. you told me I think. How is that?

[Natasha]

Quite lovely. XD Oh I dunno, wanna review their charts?

It's not always terrible in the least...there's... :/ It's a relief when we're separated for months. XD I suppose I'm the wrong person to say this, but then there is no other person't even know. x| I know you asked already, but anything more specific you wanna know? Least so I could say something instead of a lot of nothing.

[GangtaofLove]

I guess every person is different so it wouldn't make sense to ask.
But I was just intersted in knowing whether people think I should try to as him or just let him go and let life make its own calls.

[Natasha]

Reading your post again I see I'm actually in something similar. Or was. I mean he's not even online there's no way to talk him unless I end up finding him somewhere. XD

But yeah, it just ended. :|

I think I don't even wanna talk to him anymore actually...it's alright.